last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
