I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize