my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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