wat bout pragnant strippers??
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
