so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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