So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
