Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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