I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
