How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize