so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
