The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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