i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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