I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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