What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
