i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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