I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
