I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
