CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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