Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
