I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
