if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
