Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Everything about him screamed your future.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
