she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
