OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I want to make a zoo with you.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
