just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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