Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
