sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize