I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
