Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
