so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
