hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
