I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.