How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.