with your own penis?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?