he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.