all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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