We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I need to align my fucking chakras
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