I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize