He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
