come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you win again, gameday.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
