Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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