Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize