I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
