I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
