don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
