this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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