when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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