Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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