Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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