bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
