okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
