Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
