so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
