What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
