i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize