One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize