like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
