yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
