is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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