My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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