no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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