Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
