Sry I called you an 8
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
