maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
