i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
